September 12, 2014


Am I the only one who noticed Ryan Adams shamelessly biting Hiddles’ vampire style from Only Lovers on the cover of the new album?

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ryan adams tom hiddleson only lovers left alive

July 20, 2014


Last night I had a couple of classy broads in the restaurant who ordered Long Island iced teas and bread for dinner… (“Bread is free, right?”) Somewhere towards the end of this balanced meal, they both got up from the table to compare g-strings. Their tip wasn’t much to speak of, but during their booty-off, one of them  must have lost this out of their pocket. The universe provides! ūüĒ™ūüíď

Last night I had a couple of classy broads in the restaurant who ordered Long Island iced teas and bread for dinner… (“Bread is free, right?”) Somewhere towards the end of this balanced meal, they both got up from the table to compare g-strings. Their tip wasn’t much to speak of, but during their booty-off, one of them must have lost this out of their pocket. The universe provides! ūüĒ™ūüíď

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July 4, 2014


@teknodiva and I on the Road to Nowhere Tour 2005 vs #CampLydia 2014 #bffs (at Hwy 101 South)

@teknodiva and I on the Road to Nowhere Tour 2005 vs #CampLydia 2014 #bffs (at Hwy 101 South)

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camplydia bffs

May 15, 2014


Today I turn 29. I dyed my hair pink (fuck it) and I’m going to NYC for a week (double fuck it). It’s gonna be a good year.

Today I turn 29. I dyed my hair pink (fuck it) and I’m going to NYC for a week (double fuck it). It’s gonna be a good year.

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April 11, 2014


J-Pop America Fun Time Now!

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kawaii pikapika

March 8, 2014


September 2, 2013


There’s a little Kramer in all of us. Coincidentally, there is a lot of Kramer in me.

There’s a little Kramer in all of us. Coincidentally, there is a lot of Kramer in me.

(Source: the-pube)

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July 16, 2013


Escriba Dentata

As it’s getting a little late in the game to refer to my latest downward spiral into existential misery, immediately followed by mind-numbing apathy as a “quarter life crisis”, I’ve realized it is commonly referred to as “depression”. And it can continue to happen well after 25! It’s been a while since I have been capable of functioning on more than a bare bones level, which only required getting to work on time on the days my boss was there, and clandestinely trying to camouflage my wackadoo circadian rhythms. About a month ago, I pulled myself together enough to start making some changes that might help me humpty dumpty my shit back together again. One such permutation is returning to writing, which I will admit, is intimidating because I feel embarrassingly rusty and not without susceptibility to distraction. During the construction of this paragraph, I have had to restrain myself from stopping to do about half a dozen other inane things. Oh, how the muscles of self discipline atrophy, when procrastination takes up residence…

A favorite author of mine, David Rakoff, passed away at 47 last year from complications of the same cancer that we both recovered from at an early age. He once said, “Writing is like pulling teeth. From my dick.”

I guess it’s time to start yanking.

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June 16, 2012


The beer in my boss’s office. How apropos. (Taken with Instagram)

The beer in my boss’s office. How apropos. (Taken with Instagram)

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May 10, 2012


Don’t Quit Your Job Job

It’s Happy Hour at my work right now, which¬†means we’re either completely dead, or slammed by oyster fanatical, cheap idiots who tip like they were raised in a damn barn (see:¬†Europe). Today has been on the¬†slow side, and I intermittently rang up¬†some friends and my mom between confirmation calls to talk about hoodrat stuff. Around 4:30 a guy came in asking for the manager, dressed in pleated khakis with an¬†overly¬†gel-infused hairdo and¬†clutching a manila envelope with a familiar glimmer of hope in his bespectacled blue eyes. An obvious portrait of a job-hunter. I told him the manager wasn’t available (they weren’t, as we don’t have one) and he asked if he could leave his resume with me even though I informed him¬†we were not currently¬†hiring. I said of course and took his resume, filing it away with the brunch menus. A few minutes¬†after he left,¬†I decided to check it out before it made it’s way into the recycling bin, by my hand or the “manager’s”.

The objective section wasn’t much to write home about, but I when I moved on to employments, he listed himself as having worked at Johnny Rocket’s in Irvine, CA from Winter 2005 to Spring of 2006¬† as a “Server/Singer/Dancer/Ketchup Smiley Face Maker Extraordinaire”. His next employment was for another season in 2006 at the¬†Five and Diner in Pheonix, AZ as a “Serving Buddy Holly Impersonator”. I momentarily wished him back so I could ask if it was anywhere near as cool as it looked in Pulp Fiction.

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